What’s joy got to do with it?

A few years ago, I ran a retreat which I called ‘The Joyful Retreat’. Looking back, the name was very apt. Not only does it sum up how it feels to spend a weekend with a wonderful group of Me Spot ladies, but also because it was a reminder that actively pursuing joy in all its forms, is really important to our health and wellbeing.

The times we live in are challenging to say the least. When things are tough, having a tool kit of techniques to help improve the way we feel is key. It gives us back a sense of control and boosts our resilience and ability to cope. Choosing joy is one such tool.

Despite how it may sometimes seem, we have a greater influence over our own happiness than you may imagine. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a researcher in the field of positive psychology, estimated that only 10% of it is due to what is happening in the world around us, 50% comes from genetics, and the remaining 40% is ours to decide. Mindset and approach to life play a critical role in that.

Happiness is not out there for us to find. The reason that it’s not out there is that it’s inside us….If you’re not happy today, then you won’t be happy tomorrow unless you take things into your own hands and take action.  Sonja Lyubomirsky

 

That pursuit of happiness can easily lead us down a few rabbit holes. Society has traditionally peddled the myth that a good job, a nice car, a big house, or the (wo)man of our dreams are all that is required. At best, this can be transitory and short lived. At worst, it turns into a never ending ride on the rollercoaster of disappointment.

Joy, by contrast, is a state of being that is always available to us, irrespective of what else might be happening. It is not about masking negativity or ignoring hardship, but rather, allowing the two to co-exist, and for one to dial down the other.

There are many examples of humans finding themselves in impossible situations yet still able to access joy. Edith Eger, a holocaust survivor, is one such example. Her wonderful book, The Choice, about her experiences in Auschwitz and beyond, is harrowing but at the same time, remarkably uplifting. It offers optimism and hope where you would expect there to be none.

The science of joy

Research is still ongoing, but it centres around the link between joy and the nervous system. The nervous system is involved in most things we do including how we move, think and feel. It has two distinct parts: the sympathetic and the parasympathetic systems. Broadly, the former speeds things up, while the latter slows things down.

The nervous system communicates by way of neurotransmitters, the body’s chemical messengers. Some neurotransmitters play a key role in helping us to feel calmer and more positive eg oxytocin, dopamine, and seratonin. Others such as cortisol and adrenaline prepare us to take action, elevating the heart rate to provide more oxygen, and releasing glucose for fuel. The pace of modern life, and the demands we are regularly under, mean that the sympathetic nervous system is dominant for much of the time. This can lead not only to burnout, but also to inflammation and disease.  It is important to find an antidote. Actively seeking out joy can make all the difference to both our physical and our mental health.

How to find joy?

The good news is that while it takes practice and effort, it is a choice available to all of us. What is more, the benefits have been shown to be far-reaching: an improved immune system, decreased stress levels, a reduction in pain, improved creativity, as well as adding years to your life.

Getting started:

1. Set yourself up for success. Believe that you can make a difference….and make sure that you want to. For various reasons it can sometimes be easier to stick with the status quo, but understand the cost of so doing.
2. Take time out to assess how much joy you currently have in your life. Identify areas that might need attention.
3. One of my favourite exercises is to list energy drains v energy drivers. How is the balance looking between the two? What can you do to re-address it?
4. Expand on the list of energy drivers. Think of as many things as you can that would bring you joy. They do not necessarily have to take lots of time or money, in fact sometimes the simpler they are the better. Smelling the flowers, listening to the rain, savouring a meal, or simply enjoying a totally quiet moment, are just as powerful.
5. Intentionally plan to include them in your day. Don’t aim to do too much too soon.

Here’s a few of my ‘go-to’s’ :

• Connection with others – you’ll often find me striking up conversations with strangers. (Added benefit: it’s amazing what you find out. I now know all about Gatwick security procedures having spent 10 minutes talking to the man who was checking my bags!!).
• Exercise – known to release endorphins. It doesn’t have to be high intensity. A gentle walk or activities such as gardening or dancing can get them flowing too.
• An afternoon nap – especially when the sheets are new.
• Animals – in my case dogs.
• Seeking out inspiration – discovering up and coming areas, trying new coffee shops and restaurants, and finding innovative products in independent boutiques.
• Laughter – humour is a great mood enhancer and boosts seratonin levels. Cue the chef who, despite his other antics, always has the ability to make me laugh!
• Celebrating success – watching the women I work with break through barriers and living their best life is the ultimate in joyfulness!

The power of joy is not to be underestimated. In today’s world, it has never been more relevant. How can you bring more joy to your life?!