2022: the year of no regrets

As the new year energy fades, can you feel yourself settling into a routine that is not exactly what you had in mind? I can. I have adapted, possibly too submissively, to a Covid-way of doing things. In the process, I have created an existence that, while perfectly pleasant, is not lighting my life. The habits I have formed are limiting me in ways that I hadn’t even noticed: how I spend my time, the places I choose to go (or more specifically not to go…) , and the people I see. My world has unwittingly become smaller. That has got to change!

Ceci my lovely beautician who is into all things spiritual, told me today that it’s a time for new beginnings. Given that she predicted in January 2020 that something huge was going to happen in the world that would impact how we all live, I tend to listen to her! She said now is a great opportunity to make a break with the past and put out there, or ‘manifest’, the things you want.

Most common regrets

In 2012, Bonnie Ware, a palliative nurse from Australia, wrote about the most common regrets people have as they approach the end of their life.

1. I wish I had had the courage to live my life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Food for thought and certainly a call to action. If we are to avoid feeling the same way, we need to look carefully at what we individually want out of our life and then  take action accordingly. It may feel uncomfortable, not least because as women, we are often very out of touch with our own needs, but is is essential.

If 2022 is going to be different, finding clarity as to how that might look is key. Living it, even more so. As I go through the process myself, here’s three techniques I have found most useful in getting answers:

Identify areas for change

For some, it will be quite obvious what areas of life need attention but for others, it may be less clear. Whichever camp you fall in to, prioritising what to address is the starting point.

I have written previously about the wheel of life. I love this simple tool as it immediately helps focus your mind. You can change the headings if necessary but it forces you to consider and pinpoint the key issues.

I then decide what scores I want to aim for and what it would take to get me there. Very quickly a plan of action starts to emerge.

I think this is a useful exercise for everyone to do at least once a year, however you are currently feeling. Even when it seems like life is going really well, you can often be surprised by the things it throws up!

Go forwards and look back

We are used to getting to the end of the year and looking back but what if we turned that process on its head? Imagine you are at the end of the year writing a review. What would make 2022 a good year? How do you want to have spent your time? And with whom? What are the things that really matter?

You can then get to work on a plan to make it happen.  For the creatives among us, this can be done visually which can help bring it to life even more. Each day, week and month should be made up of the things you have listed. Hold yourself accountable by reviewing the plan regularly to make sure you haven’t lost direction.

It is common to think that life happens ‘to’ us. It doesn’t…unless we allow it to. By not taking control and letting one month run into the next without direction or purpose, or worse, ignoring things that we know are not right, we lose control and leave things to chance. This way, when you come to review 2022, it will look a whole lot different!

Word of the year

If you could summarise what you want 2022 to be in one word, what would it be? I love choosing my word of the year as it crystallises my thoughts and provides a guiding light, a sense of direction. In so doing, it means that I have been clear in my intention, and therefore much more likely to achieve my aims.

I had been doing this for a while and realised the last couple of years I have let it slip. I was reminded of how useful it can be in an article I read recently. So, it’s time to reinstate it.

My word of the year is expansion!

Expansion in the very broadest sense. I want to step beyond the confines I have placed on myself and get back to doing all the things I enjoy and more. I want to travel, to learn, to develop, to challenge myself, and to grow. I want to reach beyond my Covid world and out into the unknown where I know the greatest magic is to be found. What will your word of the year be?

In the end…we only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make. Lewis Carol

After everything we have been through, at the very least, let’s make 2022 the year of no regrets.